We all have our morals, our point-of-views and our framework for living our lives. And while we like to think these schemas are fluid, we also all have our “no contest,” “not happening” breaking points.
The problem is, when we let our stubbornness seep into our relationships, we’re not allowing for other partners (who likely have our best interests) to infiltrate their opinions and make us better people.
We’re forever stuck in our ways without the growth another companion offers.
Although we like to think “it’s them, it’s not me” is the reasoning we’re alone, there comes a time where we have to take an honest look at ourselves and ask if it’s the world or if it’s us against the world.
Until you can learn to love and embrace your faults, you won’t be able to appreciate the beauty in others’. Here are the 12 reasons your stubborn attitude won’t find you love.
1. Because you can never admit when you’re wrong
Despite what your hitched BFF wants you to believe, relationships aren’t easy. They require growth, compromises and changes to your lifestyle.
If you can’t budge on your side, all of those things will become much harder. It’s kind of like the penny jar — give some and take some and it all evens out in the end.
2. You’re less likely to try new things
Being stubborn also lends itself to being too close-minded. Part of the fun of being in a relationship is experiencing new activities, places, foods and thrills together.
Don’t automatically shut down suggestions to try the new Indian restaurant or tapas cooking class. You’ll be missing out on opportunities that connect you two closer.
3. You won’t deviate from your rigid “checklist” of qualities
We aren’t the first person to tell you this: No one is perfect, and unless you find a way to marry fictional Noah from “The Notebook,” you won’t find a person with every single item on your wish list.
In fact, having a mental list is detrimental to begin with — you’ll always find a fault. No one can live up to it 100 percent of the time.
4. You’d rather be right than together
Instead of making “always being right” your number one priority, you need to swap it for “my partner’s happiness.”
When you care more about being right than you do consideration for someone else, you’ll find that the only person you can tolerate is yourself. It’s not always about being right, but rather, doing the right thing.
5. You’re unwilling to try new things
Come on, we’re not only (but mostly) talking about the butt stuff.
6. You don’t view your relationship as a partnership
It can’t be one-sided. It can’t always be your family, not his or your Friday night plans with your friends or your movie choice.
You can’t have everything your way (despite what Burger King would like to tell you). Remember, there’s something special in being introduced to someone else’s world.
7. You refuse to lose
Well, arguing with you must be a joy. How can you move forward after a dispute if you’re not willing to budge from your spot?
There’s no satisfaction in winning if that means you’ve lost someone else.
8. Choices become a chore
With a stubborn attitude, you take the fun out of making decisions like where to eat or what exhibit to see or what trail to hike.
Making plans should be an exciting activity you do together, not a constant battle of trying to please you. Take a step outside of your own needs and find out what your relationship needs.
9. It’s not you, it’s always them
Even right down to the breakup, you won’t be able to accept the fault for anything.
When you take on that kind of obstinate attitude, you have a hard time understanding and owning your own mistakes. Would you really rather be alone than be wrong?
10. You don’t let yourself fall in love
You tell yourself it’s not love or this person is dangerous so you don’t get hurt.
But when you refuse to admit your true feelings or put yourself out there, you end up getting burned. Bottling it all up doesn’t hurt anyone but yourself.
11. You’re not down to split things
From the meal to the check, you make things difficult by not agreeing to split it.
When it comes to crashing, it’s important you spend an equal amount of time each other’s place or else your partner will start to resent always going to you.
The quickest way to push someone away is by not meeting that person halfway there.
12. You’re more work than pleasure
To be frank (if all the above wasn’t any evidence), it’s exhausting to deal with you. With an unrelenting disposition, it’s likely that many conversations turn to fights.
Before making work for someone else, work on yourself. You’ll find it’s easy to open your heart to someone else if you open your mind first.
Laura Argintar is the Senior Women’s Writer at Elite Daily. Listed among her achievements are performing stand-up, graduating from the U of M and writing for her favorite publications. LARG enjoys covering women’s topics, watching celebrities self-destruct and rising to any occasion.
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