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It’s Time To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

It’s Time To Stop Sabotaging Yourself

Get out of your own way if you want to thrive.

So many of us never make it in this life. Whether we come from meek and modest backgrounds, or something more substantial, so many people never seem to make it out of the downward spiral of bad habits and unhappiness.

Why? For many it comes down to self-sabotaging behavior. Rather than stepping outside of the box to establish themselves, they go with the swirl and follow themselves right down into heartbreak and disappointment. Are you guilting of sabotaging yourself and getting in your own way? Now is the moment to put those patterns to rest once and for all.

Why you sabotage yourself.
There are several reasons we choose to sabotage ourselves and our happiness. Some of us do it consciously. We see our happiness coming, and we avert it out of guilt or unease. For others, though, it’s a subconscious reckoning. Having internalized several toxic, false beliefs, they tear their lives apart without ever really understanding that they could have had so much more.

Low sense of self-worth
Our sense of self-worth is everything. When we have an acute sense of self-worth, we surround ourselves with people and experiences that bolster us and make us feel good. That’s not the case when we don’t think we’re worthy, though. When you have low self-worth, you align yourself with people who mistreat you and experiences that make you feel bad. These snowball to create a life that’s miserable and unfulfilling. All because you didn’t think you were good enough to be happy.

Toxic lessons from childhood
What kind of toxic lessons did you pick up from childhood? Your parents might have struggled with their own sense of self, which was handed down to you. Likewise, toxic and dysfunctional relationships throughout childhood could have reinforced the idea that you were not worthy of happiness and love. All of these things are false, though. You aren’t beholden to the patterns of your parents. You’re free to create a life that’s authentically your own.

Fear of being fulfilled
Believe it or not, there are some who sabotage themselves because they fear being fulfilled. They’ve spent so long being unhappy that they remember nothing else. If you’ve only known struggle, transitioning to an entirely unfamiliar state of being can feel unstable and uncomfortable. So, they sabotage themselves (both consciously and unconsciously) because they think they have to stay in whatever emotional or material state that they’re in.

Growing apart from loved ones
To grow and to change inherently means leaving the old things behind so that you can enjoy new and more fulfilling things. For some, this is a scary prospect. They don’t want to lose the people and experiences that have become comfortable and familiar to them. So, they hold themselves back because they know that growing up will take them away from the people that they love. That’s fine…if you’re happy being unhappy.

How to stop the self-sabotage.
You don’t have to settle for the sabotage and the misery. Life can be manifested around you. You can have the things you want and need. To do that, though, you first have to take note of your bad habits and rework your bad beliefs. Then you can take your inner critic by the hand, change the narrative, and choose a different path for yourself and your happiness.

1. Identify your bad habits
Before you do anything else, you need to get honest about your self-sabotaging habits. For some, the best way to do this is by journaling. They keep a record of all the times they get in their own way, and remind themselves of it often. This lays their patterns out in the open. It’s hard to deny what you’re doing to yourself when it’s written in black-and-white. Identify your self-sabotaging habits and they become that much easier to rid yourself of.

2. Get back down to the roots
Your self-sabotaging behavior, at the end of the day, comes down to your personal beliefs. Somewhere along the way you decided you weren’t worthy, and your actions followed suit. In order to get beyond this, get to the root of these bad beliefs so you can replace them. Do you believe you’re not good enough to succeed or be loved? Do fear that failure is the only thing you’re deserving of? By reworking these beliefs that are holding you back, you can get out of your own way and manifest a better future.

3. Set some realistic goals
Realistic goal setting is such an important part of breaking out of our self-sabotage and building greater self-esteem. You’ve got to see yourself successfully doing things in order to believe you can successfully do things. Telling yourself you’re capable is all good and well, but the proof of the pudding is in the eating. So start giving yourself some goals you can conquer. What do you want most from your life right now? Break that down into a series of steps. Start with the absolutely smallest and easiest task. Work your way up.

4. Give your inner critic a new voice
Your inner critic is always involved in your self-sabotaging patterns. She drives the bus. Whenever you doubt yourself, she jumps in the driver’s seat and hits the gas. She tears you apart and keeps you small so that she always has a job. Now is the moment to put her out of business. Take away her power by taking away her voice. Whenever you hear that inner critic tell you you “can’t” tell them you can. Insist on it and don’t allow them to trigger your self-sabotaging behavior anymore.

5. Make small changes every day
Now that you’ve woken up from your self-sabotaging patterns, start making minor changes to your life every single day. You’ve spent years holding yourself back and getting in your own way. Now is the moment to look back and figure out how to get all those things you’ve always wanted. Become the person you were supposed to be. Each day, do at least 1 thing consciously different. Speak to people differently, stand up for yourself differently, seek out original experiences and different beliefs. Over time, these slight changes add up. Before you know it, you’re standing in a future that you manifested for yourself.

Putting it all together…

Are you sabotaging yourself and keeping yourself from getting what you want in life or in love? Once you admit that you’re getting in your way, you can turn things around. Whether it comes down to outdated beliefs or an internalized sense of low-worth — you’re the only one who can put your self-sabotaging patterns to bed. It requires action, though, and transforming the way you see yourself, your habits, and the world.

First, take a step back and identify your self-sabotaging patterns. Keep a journal of all the times you’ve disappointed yourself and look back at it to see the habits staring back at you. Question your beliefs and what causes you to get in your own way. Once you’re clear on the why, you can change these beliefs to be more encouraging.

Realizing what you want, you’ll be able to take action through the setting of realistic goals. As you move toward your own success and fulfillment, start reshaping the voice of your inner critic. Take their power and speak to yourself in a more positive light. Make small changes every day and don’t stop until you become the happy and purpose-driven person that you want to be.

 Source |Image by lzf via Envato
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