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You Have To Let Go Even When You Don’t Want To

You Have To Let Go Even When You Don’t Want To

It’s the hardest time to let go, but the most essential

Sometimes letting go is easy, especially when we want to let go. If we’re ready to move on, forget our past life, and start a new chapter, letting go can become like a breath of fresh air in your life, helping you change the things you need to change.

But what if you don’t want to? What if deep down, you really want to hold on, even when you have to let go?

That’s when letting go becomes one of the hardest things on the planet. When you don’t want to let go, you seem to be fighting yourself every time you try to change your thought patterns, each step towards the future an anguishing reminder of the life you no longer have.

The question is: can you let go even when you don’t really want to? I’m going to explore this question, and get to the root of what letting go really means.

Can You Really Let Go If You Don’t Want To?
If you don’t want to let go, is it even possible? The idea of letting go precludes being attached to something, so obviously not wanting to means it’s much harder to detach.

Sometimes life presents us with circumstances where we must detach from a person or situation against our wishes. When we do detach, consciously moving on or removing ourselves from a person’s life, we’re probably feeling all sorts of mixed emotions about the process.

The thing is, you can let go even if you don’t want to. The problem is that this process is going to be more painful than you want it to be. As you’re letting go, you’ll probably second guess yourself a thousand times, wondering if you’re making the right choices or following the right path.

In this situation, though, we’re often left with no other choice to move on. Although the choice is clear, it doesn’t mean that the angst of letting go and the emotions surrounding it are gone.

Heartbreak is the Worst
When we think of letting go against our will, heartbreak is probably what we think of. When we are left or abandoned by another person, we must confront the hardest emotions inside ourselves. Looking inside, we might find ourselves wrestling with feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and self-doubt.

There really is no way around these feelings. And take it from me when I say there’s nothing worse than battling rejection and inadequacy. Studies have shown rejection to be akin to great physical pain, likely stemming from our deep-rooted social nature and deep fears of being left out.

You may feel that this pain is permanent, like you’ll never get over it. The thing is, you are getting over it, little by little, without even knowing it.

Think of letting go as becoming more yourself. You don’t have to want to let go of that person or thing you wanted part of your life. All you have to do is want to become yourself again.

One day you’ll wake up, and you’ll be yourself again. I can’t say when it will happen, but it will.

Letting Go Is a Practice, Not a Destination
Remind yourself that there is no end goal here. There is no day where you are free of all burdens, blissfully happy and completely devoid of all negative thinking.

Letting go is a practice you work on everyday, even when it hurts. Sometimes we carry people and memories around for a long time, and that’s okay. No one really ever lets go completely.

Think of letting go as a practice of cultivating peace and less of a process of removing someone from your life. You might find that something sticks around for a long time, but you can change the perspective you have on it, gently softening your feelings until it’s nothing but a few thoughts here and there.

And that’s the secret. You have to travel light. You can’t pack nothing for your journey, but when you can learn just to pack the essentials, you’ll probably be happier for it.

By: Wesley Owens  Source | Photo by dusan jovic on Unsplash
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